Thank you for so many encouraging notes to me from the last post!
It was a very frustrating time, but I've found that as soon as I write it all out, I feel much better. I've left all of the concern and stress about not having a job behind. Now I'm at peace. I have no freaking idea what God has in store for me, but I've tried everything I know, and I haven't gotten any answers, so I'm just waiting.
On a humorous end of things, do you want to hear my most recent blooper?
On Tuesday, I got a phone call from a friend who I worked with at my last school. She didn't mention the fact that I wasn't hired (which I appreciated) but simply let me know that she knew of a school district near me that was in need of Instructional Aides. She said that they hadn't even posted the jobs online or anything yet, so I could be first pick if I played my cards right.
I'm not professionally trained to work in a special ed classroom, even though I have had experience working with children with special needs and love them dearly. It wasn't what I'd ever envisioned my future holding, but...I've given up on envisioning things. Plus, this had simply been dropped in my lap. How do I not go for it?
I thanked my friend for the tip, called the number she had given me, and arranged to pick up an application. Deciding to be well-prepared, I printed off my resume and ran out the door. When I got to the district office, I talked with the kind woman who gave me an application. I wanted to turn it in as quickly as I could, so I asked if I could sit in the waiting room and fill it out. When I finished the application, I paper-clipped it to my resume and turned them both in with a smile.
My smile turned into a gasp when I got home and went to close my resume on Word, however. I hadn't thought to look over my resume before printing it out and taking it to the district office. I had just "perfected" it, in my opinion, to turn in for the Christian school I had just interviewed for...and forgot that a public school district probably won't have the same appreciation for my Christ-centered outlook as a prospective Christian principal should. On the first page of my resume, it proudly boasts that one of my core strengths is "Creating a challenging, supportive environment in academic, social, and spiritual aspects," and on the second page, it says that while I directed a summer program last year, I "Shared Jesus’ love with His little ones—those who knew Him, and those who had never heard of Him."
Lol, I won't be surprised if I don't hear from them! It made me laugh, though, and if a district supervisor knows that I love Jesus, I'm ok with that. If I don't get a job because of it, I'm ok with that, too.
Who knows what I'll be doing this time next year. But finally, thankfully, blessedly, I'm at peace.
Saturday, August 28, 2010
Saturday, August 21, 2010
Waiting
"Hello, is this Bethany Brubaker?"
"Yes, I'm Bethany."
"Oh...hi. I'm *** ******* from the board of education at ***** ********."
I know. I've kept my phone at arm's reach since 6am waiting to hear from one of you.
"I'm calling to thank you for interviewing with us," He drew out his words as I waited breathlessly, "But I need to let you know that your application has been denied."
My application has been denied? I never even applied to work there! You people asked me!
When you told me back in November that you would need 16 more children to register for the next school year, I started praying for 22 to come through your doors. When you told me in January that if you were able to hire a teacher, you would come straight to me, I rejoiced. I've waited all summer for you to hem and haw and decide to take a leap of faith for those last 4 children who haven't signed up. You waited until there were only ten days of summer left to decide to hire a teacher. And when you told me that the board of education required that interviews be conducted after all, I was surprised. That's not what I've been told for the last 8 months. I was told that I had a sure seat on your staff if those children came.
I didn't know what to say as he went on about how it was a difficult decision to make, how so many talented teachers had come through the interviewing process in the last few days, how he hoped I could find something else. If I had any questions.
The only question I could eke out was, "What could I do to improve my own interview process in the future?" Am I doing something wrong? I've been dropped this year by two schools that I know and I love. I invested myself in them, and they went for someone else anyway. I feel like a woman who's been cheated on one too many times.
"Well," He stammered out apologetically, "Nothing, really. Your interview was excellent. We were impressed by what you know and what you do with the children. In the end...more experience would help, I guess."
More experience???
It sounds crazy, but as a substitute, I worked there the e n t i r e y e a r. There was only a two week span back in November where they didn't need me. Other than that, I hopped happily from first grade to fourth/fifth grade to kindergarten. I even worked at their preschool.
More experience?
I know every child at that school. I can tell who is behind me by their voices. I know who needs help with contractions, who really can't hold it until recess, and who can only understand three-digit subtraction by using cuisenaire rods.
More experience?
I've done more fire drills and earthquake drills than I'd care to shake a stick at. I helped direct their Christmas Program. I helped assemle their year book. I taught them how to use PowerPoint. I marched in their crazy Camelia Day Parade in rain up to my ankles.
More experience?
I know and love the children. They knock each other over giving me hugs in the morning. Girls come to me during recess or after school for me to teach them how to do spiral or Christian fish lanyards. The other teachers' kids came to hang out with me after school because even though I was just a sub, I offered a warm and welcoming place for them to be.
You may have hired someone with "more experience," but I already know where everything at your school is. I know how to work the machines, which paints we can use in the supply room, the easiest way to cut the butcher paper. I know who has the long-reach stapler, who doesn't mind lending me the plastic coins for a lesson on money. I know the passwords to every computer. I know who not to talk to until they've had their morning coffee.
I loved being a part of that school. I wanted so badly to be there again this year. The worst part is, I don't feel like I just wasn't hired. I feel like I lost a job I already had.
What's next? I have no idea. I've taken a real trampling as far as teaching goes, this year. I just can't do it anymore. Now I'm left with this terrible, terrible thought: I thought my talent was teaching. I thought that's what God wanted me to do with my life. That's why I crammed five years of teaching classes into four. I wanted to teach. I wanted to get out there right away, start inspiring children to want to learn, and live the way God created me to live. Now I've been passed over by two schools that I was fully invested in. Is something wrong with me? I must not be the teacher I thought I was.
But then I look through the pictures I've taken of different classes I've been a part of. I read the sweet handwritten cards/pictures/papers the kids have made for me. I look through my old lesson plans. I know I'm a good teacher. I've helped children meet with success. I've helped them want to learn, which is the most important part.
I don't understand. But I'm too tired of being hurt to even try. I don't know what's next. I can't do tihs anymore. I hate to give up...but God hasn't just closed doors for me this year; some of them have slammed with my hand caught inside. I know that someday I'll go back to teaching, but I just can't do it any more right now. I can't sub at either of those schools knowing that I'm not good enough for them. Even though both of them have told me that they'll "keep my application on file."
Because being rejected the first time wasn't enough???
I don't know what I'll be doing this year, but please keep me and Jesse in your prayers as we sort through things together and try to figure out what God wants me to do. All the doors have been closed and locked; now we're just circling around for a window.
"Yes, I'm Bethany."
"Oh...hi. I'm *** ******* from the board of education at ***** ********."
I know. I've kept my phone at arm's reach since 6am waiting to hear from one of you.
"I'm calling to thank you for interviewing with us," He drew out his words as I waited breathlessly, "But I need to let you know that your application has been denied."
My application has been denied? I never even applied to work there! You people asked me!
When you told me back in November that you would need 16 more children to register for the next school year, I started praying for 22 to come through your doors. When you told me in January that if you were able to hire a teacher, you would come straight to me, I rejoiced. I've waited all summer for you to hem and haw and decide to take a leap of faith for those last 4 children who haven't signed up. You waited until there were only ten days of summer left to decide to hire a teacher. And when you told me that the board of education required that interviews be conducted after all, I was surprised. That's not what I've been told for the last 8 months. I was told that I had a sure seat on your staff if those children came.
I didn't know what to say as he went on about how it was a difficult decision to make, how so many talented teachers had come through the interviewing process in the last few days, how he hoped I could find something else. If I had any questions.
The only question I could eke out was, "What could I do to improve my own interview process in the future?" Am I doing something wrong? I've been dropped this year by two schools that I know and I love. I invested myself in them, and they went for someone else anyway. I feel like a woman who's been cheated on one too many times.
"Well," He stammered out apologetically, "Nothing, really. Your interview was excellent. We were impressed by what you know and what you do with the children. In the end...more experience would help, I guess."
More experience???
It sounds crazy, but as a substitute, I worked there the e n t i r e y e a r. There was only a two week span back in November where they didn't need me. Other than that, I hopped happily from first grade to fourth/fifth grade to kindergarten. I even worked at their preschool.
More experience?
I know every child at that school. I can tell who is behind me by their voices. I know who needs help with contractions, who really can't hold it until recess, and who can only understand three-digit subtraction by using cuisenaire rods.
More experience?
I've done more fire drills and earthquake drills than I'd care to shake a stick at. I helped direct their Christmas Program. I helped assemle their year book. I taught them how to use PowerPoint. I marched in their crazy Camelia Day Parade in rain up to my ankles.
More experience?
I know and love the children. They knock each other over giving me hugs in the morning. Girls come to me during recess or after school for me to teach them how to do spiral or Christian fish lanyards. The other teachers' kids came to hang out with me after school because even though I was just a sub, I offered a warm and welcoming place for them to be.
You may have hired someone with "more experience," but I already know where everything at your school is. I know how to work the machines, which paints we can use in the supply room, the easiest way to cut the butcher paper. I know who has the long-reach stapler, who doesn't mind lending me the plastic coins for a lesson on money. I know the passwords to every computer. I know who not to talk to until they've had their morning coffee.
I loved being a part of that school. I wanted so badly to be there again this year. The worst part is, I don't feel like I just wasn't hired. I feel like I lost a job I already had.
What's next? I have no idea. I've taken a real trampling as far as teaching goes, this year. I just can't do it anymore. Now I'm left with this terrible, terrible thought: I thought my talent was teaching. I thought that's what God wanted me to do with my life. That's why I crammed five years of teaching classes into four. I wanted to teach. I wanted to get out there right away, start inspiring children to want to learn, and live the way God created me to live. Now I've been passed over by two schools that I was fully invested in. Is something wrong with me? I must not be the teacher I thought I was.
But then I look through the pictures I've taken of different classes I've been a part of. I read the sweet handwritten cards/pictures/papers the kids have made for me. I look through my old lesson plans. I know I'm a good teacher. I've helped children meet with success. I've helped them want to learn, which is the most important part.
I don't understand. But I'm too tired of being hurt to even try. I don't know what's next. I can't do tihs anymore. I hate to give up...but God hasn't just closed doors for me this year; some of them have slammed with my hand caught inside. I know that someday I'll go back to teaching, but I just can't do it any more right now. I can't sub at either of those schools knowing that I'm not good enough for them. Even though both of them have told me that they'll "keep my application on file."
Because being rejected the first time wasn't enough???
I don't know what I'll be doing this year, but please keep me and Jesse in your prayers as we sort through things together and try to figure out what God wants me to do. All the doors have been closed and locked; now we're just circling around for a window.
For I know the plans I have for you," Declares the Lord, "Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and future. You will call upon Me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. you will seek Me and find Me. When you seek Me with all your heart, I will be found by you," Declares the Lord, "And will bring you back from captivity and will restore your fortunes." Jeremiah 29
Please, God, show us soon.
Friday, August 20, 2010
Chocolate Chip Pancakes
Happy Birthday, Handsome Man!
I figured this would be the perfect way to begin your special day.
I love you!
I love you!
Chocolate Chip Pancakes
♥ 1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
♥ 1 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
♥ 3/4 teaspoon baking soda
♥ 3/4 teaspoon salt
♥ 1 1/4 cups milk
♥ 1/4 cup vegetable oil
♥ 2 large eggs, lightly beaten
♥ 1 rounded cup semisweet mini chocolate chips
Whisk together all ingredients except chips until just combined.
Heat a griddle over medium heat until hot and lightly brush with additional oil. Working in batches, pour 1/4 cup batter per pancake onto griddle and sprinkle each pancake with about 1 1/2 teaspoons chips. Cook until bubbles appear on surface and undersides are golden-brown, about 1 minute. Flip with a spatula and cook other side, about 1 minute more. (Lightly oil griddle between batches.)
(These would be a lot more ideal to make if I owned a griddle, but for now, it's pancakes on the stir-fry pan!)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Funny side note, at one point, I burned a pancake pretty badly and was mourning over it. "Why is it that burned chocolate chips smell like burned hot dogs?" I cried.
Jesse's eyes got wide with excitement and he clapped his hands together, "Because they love me!!!"
Chocolate Chip Pancakes
Happy Birthday, Handsome Man!
I figured this would be the perfect way to begin your special day.
I love you!
I love you!
Chocolate Chip Pancakes
♥ 1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
♥ 1 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
♥ 3/4 teaspoon baking soda
♥ 3/4 teaspoon salt
♥ 1 1/4 cups milk
♥ 1/4 cup vegetable oil
♥ 2 large eggs, lightly beaten
♥ 1 rounded cup semisweet mini chocolate chips
Whisk together all ingredients except chips until just combined.
Heat a griddle over medium heat until hot and lightly brush with additional oil. Working in batches, pour 1/4 cup batter per pancake onto griddle and sprinkle each pancake with about 1 1/2 teaspoons chips. Cook until bubbles appear on surface and undersides are golden-brown, about 1 minute. Flip with a spatula and cook other side, about 1 minute more. (Lightly oil griddle between batches.)
(These would be a lot more ideal to make if I owned a griddle, but for now, it's pancakes on the stir-fry pan!)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Funny side note, at one point, I burned a pancake pretty badly and was mourning over it. "Why is it that burned chocolate chips smell like burned hot dogs?" I cried.
Jesse's eyes got wide with excitement and he clapped his hands together, "Because they love me!!!"
Thursday, August 19, 2010
A Smile When I Need It
I had an interview today. For a 3rd/4th combined class.
I'm not one to be nervous about interviews usually, but after interviewing for a job at my church's school and being rejected, my confidence level has taken a beating this summer.
As I was collecting things to bring with me (samples of my lesson plans, pictures of things I've done with students), I found the book that the 3rd grade class from my student teaching days made for me. It brought a smile to my face!
I'm not one to be nervous about interviews usually, but after interviewing for a job at my church's school and being rejected, my confidence level has taken a beating this summer.
As I was collecting things to bring with me (samples of my lesson plans, pictures of things I've done with students), I found the book that the 3rd grade class from my student teaching days made for me. It brought a smile to my face!
They were a fun class!
A letter from Raquel
"An Appreciated Letter For Mrs. Brubaker"
Dear Mrs. Brubaker.
Thank you for teaching me lots of things! Now I'm a verry smart girl. You are verry sweat [hopefully that means sweet!] and kind. I will miss you. Once again, Thank You!
Best Regards, Joie
Brubaker is very helpful
Really pretty
Unique
Brubaker never gives up (she's 100% cool!)
Always on the lead
Knows everything
Everday has everything ready
Really nice
p.s. that's why I asked you yesterday what "best regards" means so that I can put it on here.
p.p.s. I think that you will be a good teacher.
p.p.p.s. You taught me everything that you were supposed to teach me and that's why I'm so smart.
p.p.p.p.s. thank you for everything you did.
p.p.p.p.p.s. I will never forget about you!
From Jessie:
I will miss you so much, Mrs. Brububaker. I will never forget you. You are one of my fovete teacher. You are very nice, pretty, and smart. I kown you are going to be a very good teacher and what ever class has you they are very lucky.
♥ Jessie
I like your hair
From Audrey
From Anthony:
Dear Brubaker,
Thanks for coming. I miss you. Could you name some students at your old school? I would be proud if you say I'm one of them. Mrs. Lee invited you to come back for a good party. See you later!
Love, Anthony
"This is a reminder of how class looks like"
Dear Mrs. B,
Thank you for having lunch with us! I can't believe how Jubileo cannon balled our group hug and you almost tripped. Wow! Don't forget us I miss really bad! Don't forget the class.
Love, Maddie
Dear Mrs. Brubaker,
Thank you for teaching me every thing. Thank you for teaching me math and spelling. I liked how you taught us how to be quiet. Plus I love how you taught us how to write a letter. I mostly like when you taught us how to do fractions.
Love, S
teve
teve
From Daniel
Silly class shot
That fills me with happy thoughts!
Pray for me today as I wait to hear back from the interview!
I hope I have good news by this time tomorrow. I'm ready for it :-)
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
Cilantro Lime Chicken
This one had me drooling as soon as I thought about it. Yum!
Easiest thing in the world...just chop up some cilantro, zest a lime, mince up some garlic, throw it in a zip lock bag with 2 chicken breasts, olive oil, and salt and pepper, let it marinade, and presto! So easy.
Well, don't forget to cook it, either.
Here are the easy steps for this yummy recipe!
♥ 2 skinless and boneless chicken breasts, trimmed of any fat
♥ 2 tbsp olive oil (divided)
♥ Zest and juice of 1 lime (reserve the juice for the last 15 minutes of marinating)
♥ 1 tbsp fresh cilantro, chopped
♥ Sea salt and fresh cracked pepper to taste
♥ 1 clove of garlic, minced
I poked the chicken breasts with a fork before putting it in the marinade so that it would really soak up the flavor. It worked really well. Mix all the ingredients for the marinade together, throw it in the ziplock bag, press all of the air out of the bag so that the juice surrounds the chicken, and let it marinade for 4-6 hours.
Take it out of the fridge, add the lime juice ot the bag, and let it sit on the counter for about 15 minutes.
Heat the 1 tablespoon of olive oil in a large skillet over medium heat. Once hot, add chicken breasts and cook for 4 minutes then flip. Cook for an additional 3-4 minutes or until juices run clear. Remove from heat and let sit for at least 5 minutes before serving.
I served it with Mexican rice, chips, and salsa. Jesse said it was a winner, and that's all I need :-)
Cilantro Lime Chicken Breasts
This one had me drooling as soon as I thought about it. Yum!
Easiest thing in the world...just chop up some cilantro, zest a lime, mince up some garlic, throw it in a zip lock bag with 2 chicken breasts, olive oil, and salt and pepper, let it marinade, and presto! So easy.
Well, don't forget to cook it, either.
Here are the easy steps for this yummy recipe!
♥ 2 skinless and boneless chicken breasts, trimmed of any fat
♥ 2 tbsp olive oil (divided)
♥ Zest and juice of 1 lime (reserve the juice for the last 15 minutes of marinating)
♥ 1 tbsp fresh cilantro, chopped
♥ Sea salt and fresh cracked pepper to taste
♥ 1 clove of garlic, minced
I poked the chicken breasts with a fork before putting it in the marinade so that it would really soak up the flavor. It worked really well. Mix all the ingredients for the marinade together, throw it in the ziplock bag, press all of the air out of the bag so that the juice surrounds the chicken, and let it marinade for 4-6 hours.
Take it out of the fridge, add the lime juice ot the bag, and let it sit on the counter for about 15 minutes.
Heat the 1 tablespoon of olive oil in a large skillet over medium heat. Once hot, add chicken breasts and cook for 4 minutes then flip. Cook for an additional 3-4 minutes or until juices run clear. Remove from heat and let sit for at least 5 minutes before serving.
I served it with Mexican rice, chips, and salsa. Jesse said it was a winner, and that's all I need :-)
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Proof that I don't Use the Word "Hubby"
I've never liked the word "hubby." It seems to emasculate everything about being a strong, supportive, loving husband. I always kind of cringe when I hear people refer to Jesse as my hubby, so I was surprised when he used the word on Saturday night on our way home from Emily's wedding.
"I can't wait til Emily and her new hubby come back from their honeymoon so that we can spend time with them," He said.
Unsure whether he had said "hubby" or "honey," I asked Jesse what he had called Arlen.
"Her new hubby..." He said, somewhat unsure now. "Well," he stammered, trying to catch himself, "I guess he's been her hubby for a while now. I meant new husband."
I looked at him with a laugh and explained that "hubby" means "husband."
Surprise came over his face. "Oh!" He said, "I thought it was like, "honey," or "sweetheart," or something."
Hee hee. He's so cute!
"I can't wait til Emily and her new hubby come back from their honeymoon so that we can spend time with them," He said.
Unsure whether he had said "hubby" or "honey," I asked Jesse what he had called Arlen.
"Her new hubby..." He said, somewhat unsure now. "Well," he stammered, trying to catch himself, "I guess he's been her hubby for a while now. I meant new husband."
I looked at him with a laugh and explained that "hubby" means "husband."
Surprise came over his face. "Oh!" He said, "I thought it was like, "honey," or "sweetheart," or something."
Hee hee. He's so cute!