My Last "Kids Say the Darndest Things" Post for a While

Now that I'm at home, it's going to be a while before I have more funny kid quotes to share--at least, until Miss Kayleigh can talk :-)

 

Here are some more laughs from my little spiral bound happy book:

(Remember, these children are 4 and 5 years  old.  They crack me up!)

 

Alan: Miss Betha--mmm!  Your hair smells good!

 

Jeremy: Mommy says I will be a good police officer when I grow up.

Me: Oh!  You want to be a police officer?

Jeremy: Nope.

Hallie: I know what I want to be when I grow up!
Me: What do you want to be, Hallie?

Hallie: A pet fish!

 

Adalee: Miss Bethany, Ray just punched me!

Me: Ray!  Don't put your hands on your friends.

Adalee: Not his hands.

Me: ???  What did he punch you with?

Adalee: With his butt!

 

Bryce:  (crying) I accidentally bumped Naomi's face, and now her eye hurts.

Me:  She's ok, I checked.  I know it was an accident, Bryce.  You don't need to cry!

Bryce: No, I'm crying because my mom said that if I hurt any more friends, she would leave me here and not take me home!

 

(While reading a story about a woman who goes to a well)

Me: What is a well?

Bryce:  Uhh...it's kinda like a dolphin.

 

Sophia:  Look at my pretty pink nails!
Alden:  I don't have pink on my nails because I'm not a girl yet.

 

Me: What animal does pork come from?

Sydney: A porkypine!

 

Andrew (while seated near my feet at Calender time):  Miss Bethany, I'm lucky your shoes are so beautiful!

 

Alden: I want to change the leaves' colors.

Nichole: You can't.  Only God can!

 

Riley (pouting): I did not want to come to school today.

Me: Neither did I!  Let's all just go home.

Naomi: No!  I don't want to turn into a donkey!

Miss Anne: Whaaat?!?

Naomi: My mom says that if I don't go to school, I'll turn into a donkey like the boys in Pinocchio.

 

Me: *whistling*

Jeremy: I can't do that!
Sydney: I can! *whistles*

Jeremy: Oh no...only girls can whistle.  *Sigh*

 

Me: Joshua!  Why is Bryce doing your classwork?

Joshua: *shrugs* Friends help friends.

 

Class (reciting lunchtime prayer): Thank you, God, for everything!  Amen.

Gordon:  I say "a-women."

 

Adalee (tattling): Alan said "fat!"

Alan (looks up in surprise): I didn't hear me say that...

 

Me (as Alden shows me his picture):  Wow, Alden, that's a piece of modern art!

Ethan: What's "modanar?"

Alden: A sandwich?

 

Jolene (whispers): Miss Bethany, this morning, my brother almost said a bad word.

 

Me: What does a strawberry smell like?

3 year old: A triangle!

 

Adalee: Miss Bethany, I sat down too hard and hurt my button!  (bottom)

 

Miss Gina:  Let's talk about the 5 senses.  What is something we can see?

Arnold: A TV!

Miss Gina:  Good!  Now, Elliott, what is something we can taste?

Arnold (whispers to Elliott):  I'll give you a hit: don't say TV!

 

Travis:  I told my mom to have two more babies...that way, me, my brother, and the babies could play Super Mario 4 players.

 

Riley (looking at my 4D ultrasound of Kayleigh):  What is it so dark in there?!?

 

Joshua:  Can I have some more?

Miss Caroline:  "Can I have some more, please?"

Joshua (slaps forehead): Ugh!  I always forget that little word.

 

Miss Gina: What does it mean when men and women get married?

Rachel:  That they're going to have a baby!

 

Riley (to me): Why are you wearing lipstick?

Jiahao: Because she has to wear it to look pretty!

 

Rachel (sits up during naptime):  I can't sleep!
Me: Why not?

Rachel: My sheets don't match my pillowcase!

 

Caleb (on July 5th):  I heard fireworks last night!   It was louder than when my mom cracks an egg.

 

Valin: ...and we can be married!
Sydney: Do we really have to be married?

Valin: Only if we kiss...

 

Anna: What song is this? (listening to my Disney CD)

Me: "Chim-Chiminey" from Mary Poppins.

Anna: That's not Mary Poppins!  That's a man!

 

Madison: Miss Bethany, you're a princess castle!

Me: Why?

Madison: Because you're as up-in-the-air as one!

 

Sydney: We don't have dogs or cats at my house because my dad is allergic to their hair.

Valin: But...your dad has hair on his face...

Sydney: *gasp* Maybe he's allergic to hisself!

 

Miss Denise (shows a picture card): What is this?

Class: Apple!

Miss Denise: Good!  And what sound does "apple" make?

Class: /a/! /a/! /a/!

Miss Denise: Great! What about this? (shows another card)

Class: Bird!

Denise: Yes!  What sound does "bird" make?

Class: Chirp! Chirp! Chirp!

 

Miss Ana: What does a king do?

Bryson: He cooks for the queen.

Stephanie: No!  He just sits in his magic chair.

 

Me: Madison, why isn't your homework in your folder?

Madison: I don't know!  I guess the leprechauns took it!

 

Eric: Miss Bethany, what happened to your tummy?!?

Me: It's growing--there's a baby in it.

Eric (wide-eyed and horrified): WHY?!?!?

 

Elizabeth: Miss Bethany, you can draw trees?  Wow!  You're a good drawer!

 

Sophia:  Yesterday, I went to Chuck-in-the-Cheese!

 

Me: Alden, go get a napkin and wipe your mouth.  You have food all over your face.

Alden:  I know.  That's what I ate for breakfast.

 

Caleb: I really am a superhero...just... nobody knows it yet.

 

Jiahao: That man outside is smoking!
Alden:  Oh no!  His lungs are gonna look like a barbeque.

 

Caleb: Rachel, you and I should get married anytime.

Rachel: Why?

Caleb: Because, boy plus girl makes sense.

 

Riley (pointing to the belt I was wearing just below my bust): Why is your belt all the way up there?

Me: I have to wear it up high because my belly is too big for me to wear it around my waist.

Riley: You should just take that baby out so that you can be skinny again!