Two Month Letter to Logan

Dear Logan,

I'm writing this letter to you while you're curled up on my chest, sound asleep.  That's the way we do life these days--you and me, always together.  What a little cuddle bug you are!  When my arms are crying for a break, but you're crying that you don't want to be put down, I just snuggle you in harder and remember to cherish these moments because I know you won't always want to be this close to me.  It's a funny thing to have to remember to cherish something.  Maybe you won't understand this because you'll never be a mom, but I hope someday you'll be a dad.  And when you are, I hope you'll be as good at coming home and rescuing your tired wife like your daddy is so good at rescuing me.  You were born into a home full of so much love, baby boy.

Speaking of things to cherish, I will always treasure these sweet moments of watching you with your sister Kayleigh.  It amazes me what best little friends the two of you are already.  Getting to see you is the first thing she asks for every morning.  She covers you with kisses, and we often have to remind her to stop and let you breathe.  She loves you so much!  You love her, too (even though you usually cry like a typical boy whenever she smothers you with kisses) and I love the way you smile at her as she talks to you or sings to you.  Daddy and I pray every day that you will always have such a close relationship.  My brother is one of my favorite people in the world.  The spacing between you and Kayleigh is almost the same as between your Uncle Jon and me.  I praise God that you and Kayleigh have each other to go through life's adventures.

You are growing so fast.  You've nearly doubled your weight since birth--what a chunker!  Your rolls are filling out, and you've definitely added another chin or two this month.  You're solidly into size 3 month clothing already.  Even though you were smaller than Kayleigh was at birth, I think you're working hard to catch up to her now!

Your baptism was two weeks ago.  What a beautiful, special day!  Daddy got to baptize you, and you wore a beautiful little baptism outfit that was lovingly made by your Grammy.  It was a small gathering since so many of our loved ones have been dealing with illnesses, and your aunts and uncle are so far away right now, but it was a day covered in love.  Yiayia, Papa and Grammy, Tyler, Stacey, and Bine Stover, Matt and Emily Terhune, Greg Wilson, and Jim and Charlotte Friebus all came to the service to celebrate your special day.  Tyler and Stacey are your godparents.  They have been dear friends of ours ever since Daddy and I have been married, and they love you and your sister very much.

You make our days brighter, little guy.  Our days brighter, and our nights longer.  Much, much longer!  Work on sleeping at night and being awake during the day, ok?  Mommy and Daddy love your bright, smiley face!  (We'd also love to not see it at 3am).

We love you so much!

Love, Mom

Nicknames: Puppy, Smiley Boy, Mr. Logan, Floppy Puppy, Snuggle Puppy, Chubbers
Temperament: Happy when being held
Things I Could Do Without: The fact that you will only sleep at night if you're in bed next to me.  I've always been so cautious about SIDS, and the fact that I don't get to sleep unless you're in bed makes me so nervous.  It also means that even when I'm sleeping, I'm not really getting good sleep...
Things You Could Do Without: Being put down.  Ever.  You hate being put in the cradle, the bouncer, the rock 'n' play...even being set down on the changing table is enough separation to break your little heart.
Item/Toy We Love The Most:  Our Ergo and Moby.  They allow us to hold you while still accomplishing things we need to do (Public Service Announcement: Life with two kids doesn't go on pause when the baby needs to be held.  Boooooy are we learning that!)
Item/Toy You Love The Most:  You're trying hard to find your thumb, I think.  I've tried to help you, but it seems to be something you need to discover on your own.  Maybe you'll be able to self-soothe when you find it!  That's my hope...
Things I'm Loving Most Right Now: I love it when you chuckle  in your sleep.  It's the cutest thing!  I also love all the smiles and chuckles we get when you're awake now, too.
Things You're Loving Most Right Now:  You smile when we tickle you or give you kisses.  You also love to be sung to--whether it's Kayleigh singing to you or Dad or me.  But really, you're happy no matter what as long as you're in someone's arms.
Sounds/Words: You coo and interact with us and it makes my heart burst.  I'm looking forward to so many things to come!
Foods You Like: This answer is going to be the same for a while :)  Milk!  We haven't introduced you to a bottle yet.  You and I have never been separated long enough for you to need one!
Milestones: Baptism!  Welcome to the family of God, our sweet little one!

Happy New Year from the Brubakers!

As Jesse and I watched the clock slowly creep toward midnight last night, we reflected on the past year.

What a year!

2013 was not what I expected.  At all.

A year ago last night, Jesse and I were toasting to the financial freedom we were looking forward to in 2013.  With two stable jobs, we thought we'd be set.  I was envisioning the amount of growth my blog would experience in 2013, looking forward to the new connections I would make and the friendships that would deepen through it.  Our daughter's second year of life was certainly one to look forward to, and Jesse and I were excited to see how much she would grow in the coming year.

And then the year settled in, and with it, a lot of surprises!  The week that I found out my ESL teaching position had been cut from the school budget was the week I found out we were expecting a new baby.  I was beyond sick for pretty much all but two months of my pregnancy.  We moved to be closer to Jesse's job, but the additional monthly expense of that move has added a great amount of stress.  I wrote 11 posts for my blog in 2013.  Eleven!  I've missed this so much, but at the same time, there was just no room in life for blogging this past year.

It's been a challenging year, for sure, but oh, such happy things have come from it!

Jesse and I celebrated our 5th wedding anniversary this year.  Even though I was too sick to take a big trip, we stayed at a lovely hotel 20 minutes from our house and enjoyed two nights away where we could enjoy each other and reflect on God's goodness to us in the past 5 years.  I'm so, so thankful for this wonderful man God provided for me.  The way he loves me, serves me, leads me, and cares for his family is so humbling and exhilarating.  I am beyond blessed to be his wife!

Our sweet Kayleigh Grace turned two in September.  She has grown so much this year, and is such a wonderful big sister to "Bebe Logan."  She loves him so much.  Jesse and I are constantly smiling and shaking our heads in amazement over what a smart little girl she has grown into-- and with such a beautiful heart!  She is entering the stage now where she makes up her own songs, astonishes us with her observations, and memorizes and "reads" back to you all of her favorite books.  We are loving this stage with our sweet girl!

Little Logan Mark joined our family on December 6th.  He is such a blessing from God, and I can't wait to share his miraculous birth story with you.  Having a second child has definitely thrown Jesse and me into the world of being truly grown up.  All it takes is saying "the kids," and you instantly feel older!  In his nearly one month of existence, Logan has stolen our hearts.  He is a very easy baby, loves to be held, and makes the cutest sleepy grunts and sighs you've ever heard.  I'm seriously going to have to get it on video so that I never forget this sweet stage in his life.

 Many other wonderful blessings have come our way this past year, and I can't wait to tell you about them.  As life settles in for this new little family of four, I dearly hope that I'll have time to return to this beloved space and share in life with you again.  Thinking forward to 2014, I'm excited.  2013 taught me that God continues to bless you above and beyond even when nothing turns out the way you had expected it to.  I'm thankful for that, and I'm looking forward to seeing His plans for us in the coming year!